Well Week two

Week two.

Ahh a bottle of wine and some winks. Screw winks i have become desperate within the last 4 days. I just start sending Emails. Whitty, cute and some downright flirty... So i take up a conversation with whom i think is a cute 25 year old.

Alright, the emails flow rapidly, tuesday yeilds 2 emails every 45 minutes. Sweet. Fun. He even ask's me about myself. Alright, someone who ask's questions back..

He has a myspace. Makes him a bit less creepy... Although he has 7 friends on myspace. All of which look like they came from a very pathetic emo coffeehouse.. Hmm he lost points with that one.

He also lost points when he started to open up. His flaws. His insecurities. He blames his parents. He doesn't work. Watches too many movies... Does he have cable? Who watches DVD's all day? So on a sliding scale this fucker is losing points left and right.



Halloween night, we have been emailing for a few days. I know more about this dude then i needed. So i call him. I block my number because he's so close to the negative numbers. And i just cannot have another stalker. Especially one who was only at a +4. Ring. Ring. (me gulp gulp my wine).. Ring... Yes he wont answer, i can listen to a voicemail and decided to leave a message or toss his number out of my phonee......

"hello"

ohh shit he answered...
HE ANSWERED A BLOCK NUMBER? weirdo, -1 point

"Hey its Bree"
and he says "Oh Hi I was expecting your call"

First mister +3, never tell a girl your going to expect her to call. You sat around with a thumb up your butt thinking She might call

Alright. Whatever. Still he is losing points. And another, because he has a normal christian name 'Jeremy'

"So whatcha doing"

"driving to a friends" he states

Ohh ... umm... this conversation is dying. It is dying very fast. That and i think he sounds like he could be 20 years old. I need a man... Not some pansy ass teenager.

So I get off the phone, that was a short, weird conversation. Hmmm..

He sends me an email the minute he gets home. Thinks the conversation went well. Really?

I don't reply back. Thankfully he doesn't have my phone number. Dammit.

Ohh the Caveman called. But no voicemail. Just wanted a peice of this ass..

Week one of official membership

So week one of being a match.com member. Dr. Phil endoreses it. But what could I possibly offer some of these creeps. I wink at them all still confident that the one attractive guy on there I have already bagged.

Lucky me. Especially lucky me when i sign on this morning and see these lovely faces...



Oh dear lord. What have i done. I put forth my best pictures. And this is what i get. Please say it isn't so. My biological clock is ticking away... Tick tick tick.. One day down... Hmm.. Maybe i should add some Breasty pictures to my match.com.

Okay will do that tonight and see if anything developes. After all i need a date to my christmas party.

The match.com caveman

So i got over the heartbreak. Apparenlty I was too smart for the bosses son. Or at least thats what i decided to convince myself of. So on to Match.com. It works for everyone my mother says..

Ohh really? Really. Okay, I had enough wine and my credit card handy. Hello match.com.... Instantly emailed this Caveman... And we emailed. A lot. Wow i fell into his personality. His charm. And we met. At a bar, i bought two drinks in preperation for his enterance. I drank them. He bought me another beer and ordered one for himself, ironically the bartender knew what he was drinking, RED FLAG, and after some Appetizers i thought Wow what a cool guy.. And then "wanna go back to my place?"..



Okay fine, i am game, besides i cant really drive all the way home in this state.. A few rumbles with his puppy and some more drinks later and i get this line "Our chemistry is amazing"

Really, Chemistry? Okay so i fall for it. This caveman is curious and very cute. So we have a bit of a make-out session. He falls asleep and i fall asleep dressed next to him. I woke up at 4am and drove home. Doubtful that he would call.


And he did. A few torrid emails and we had another date, wine and a movie. Great fun. And nothing happened. So okay the chemistry felt lacking. Whatever. Maybe a third time hanging out. Okay maybe a fourth night...

Alas, the caveman lost all interest in me after i gave it up. Chemistry my ass. At least my dress spell had turned around. This one counted. It definatly counted.

It also brought me back to the wonderful world of online dating. So i re-enlisted. Lucky me.

Introduction

So my biological clock is ticking.. Actually not ticking, more like the alarm has been going off, these days, and 8 motnhs without sex i can feel it buzzing through my body.

Yes 8 months, well not technically 8 months, because there was this one time, with a former partner, but it doesnt count. Clearly he had not advanced in his sexual prowless like i had. He also hadn't matured in the years in that way.. So that does not count.

I woke up the next morning, naked. No boy next to me and with a pounding headache. I rolled over to my pink pillow and thought to myself "now how has this happened?"

Two seriouse relationships, isn't that enough. Maybe the first isn't ment to count. First loves are like chocolate they just cant last forever. But when your 19 you would never believe that. Then went 2 years of dry spell. I learned to do yoga, scrapbook and cook. All things essential to becoming the perfect partner.

I even learned to love myself, if you dont love yourself then no one else will. Okay problem solved. I loved myself i was a sexy blonde bitch.

On the prowl, to my second true love. Okay not true love, but a good enough catch. I could hang out with this one for a while.. And i did... Four and a half season's we were over. I was back in my bed with tears that wouldnt end. Hugging my pillow, he had found a younger dumber girl. Wish i could be her.

So on to my quest, and another dry spell.

In the midst of this dryspell i am fascinated with Breast's. So i Invest in a pair. Employee of the month. And a date with the bosses son. Things are looking up.. Or maybe not. The bosses son put the moves on me after one date. A date to a mexican restaraunt of all things. I went with the flow, but continued the dry spell. He never did call back.

Fine on to others.. And so my story begins.